The Happiness Project

I just finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. While I was reading it I thought, "this is not earth shattering" or "Yay! I already do this!" But after reflecting on it there were a couple of things that the book really helped me think about more deeply or in a different way, or helped me think about how important some things are and I need to be more mindful of doing them daily.
-One of the big ones for me was reading about "joyous ones." This is something that touched me. Ever since Thaddeus was diagnosed with leukemia we have decided to CHOOSE joy. The book recognized this and labeled us joyous ones. She understood it is NOT easy to be joyous. It takes work, though from the outside it appears to be what just comes naturally. Some people take it upon themselves to attempt to "school" the joy right out of you. They assume you are naïve, stupid, or just plain simple to be joyful in certain circumstances. What they do not see is that we KNOW the circumstances, understand the possibilities, but CHOOSE to be joyful in spite of all that. It is NOT easy.
-Another was make time...I hear SO often "I do not have time." The truth of that is you DO have time but what is being asked of you is not a priority for that time. Now, I am all for saying no to the good so you can say yes to the best. BUT, when your default mode is to talk about how busy you are, you need to make some changes ASAP. It is tiresome to hear how busy people are all the time. I am busy too, but long ago I resolved to NEVER say that and more importantly not to feel it. If I feel "busy" I need to take some things off my plate. You are never in a good frame of mind when you are "busy." You are rushed, frantic, more easily aggravated...the only ones that suffer from this busy frame of mind are those closest to you, and they are the ones that deserve the BEST of you.
-Find more fun...my family is good at this. We find fun in everything. It keeps us light and happy. Gretchen says repeatedly in the book it is easy to be heavy, hard to be light. So true. It is not in my nature to be light. Jamie is the opposite and finds it hard to be heavy (I think God had a plan there!!) She found taking time to be silly, going off the path, and being intentional about having fun led to more happiness. We say, "well duh, of course it does!" but as an adult how often do you prioritize having fun? As moms aren't you pulled in the direction of the chores instead of having an attitude of those dishes can wait let's have fun? Rubin also says something moms hear often; the days are long but the years are short. Your kids will NOT remember if the dishes were always washed but they WILL remember the little moments spent together having fun that add up to a childhood of an engaged and fun mother that fills their memories. Do not let the urgent take precedence over the truly important.
- One that we have seen in our friends so many times these past months is showing up. Show up for people. DO NOT SAY I AM TOO BUSY.  What are you busy with? Is it really more important than SHOWING UP for a friend or loved one? Again we let the urgent get in the way of the important. Ten years from now will you remember that you rescheduled an appointment or will you remember that you held that newborn? Held a friends hand while she cried? Laughed with your kids? Don't miss the good stuff in the name of busy. You will get no reward for it. If you show up though the rewards are great and lasting.
-She also talks about wanting what you have and the fact you are not happy unless you think you are happy. Facebook is full of people talking about all that is wrong or what they do NOT have (I prefer to look at the good things of FB which to me HEAVILY outweigh the bad but for this I am focusing on the negative lol). I sometimes want to SCREAM look at all that is GOOD!!! Good grief! Rubin says, "Happiness comes from not having more, but wanting what you have" wow...wisdom there!!! Reframe your thinking. SO things didn't go your way; if you think you are happy you will at the very LEAST be happier. Look for the good. You and those around you will benefit greatly. Stop making excuses of what is stopping you. The only difference between people with success and those without are that the successful ones do not let their shortcomings get in their way. They do not focus on what they cannot do, but focus on what they can do. The truth is we all can do more than we can ever imagine...but we have to try.  You also will be far more prepared for WHEN the phone rings. Life is not all rainbows and lollipops. You WILL at some point experience hardship. Now, Lord willing it will not be catastrophic, but your character will be revealed when it is under fire. Prepare in the small daily tasks. If your child spills milk? Show grace and love. If that person cuts you off, think about why before jumping to anger. If someone's phone rings in the movies? Maybe their child is sick. Cut people slack. Be generous. It'll only make your life better. It is ALWAYS better to give than to receive.

CHOOSE joy. Grasp at and DEMAND happiness in your life. You only get one, make the most of it. Do not fritter it away being busy. STOP SAYING you are busy. Stop BEING busy. Re-evaluate your days and fill them with life giving, soul nourishing, ETERNAL busyness. Make a change now. Do not wait until your days are done and you have nothing of lasting value to show for it. Do not wait until the phone rings and you have to have happiness reserves to draw from to get you through. If you always think you have time to fill your happiness bank you will be in the red and have nothing in the reserves when you need it. The time is now. Do not wait. Fill your lives with what matters.